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2011 > 2010 > 2009 > 2008 > 2007

December 29, 2008

The Power of Reframing in a Healthy Relationship
by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III

I once received a note from a man who wrote, "These are the facts, this is what happened, these are the consequences…. and if you disagree with me, then you are refusing to face reality."To whose reality was he referring? And how was it that he was able to escape being a creature of his own history and culture and take a god-like position so as to come to this divinely objective view of reality?

December 22 , 2008

The Nature of Love:  How Love Behaves
By Dr. Monte Wilson

What strikes me about Paul’s description of love in I Corinthians 13 is that it is all about how love behaves. There is nothing here about the subjective experiences we usually think about when speaking of the nature of love. This is not to suggest that feelings are not an ingredient of love, only that as far as Paul was concerned feelings were not the primary or defining ingredient. I actually don't think it is possible to behave as love demands and not end up with loving-feelings.

December 15 , 2008

Learning from Negativity

If there is one emotional response that rivals the human instinct to survive, it is the average human's drive to remain within the "normal and comfortable" range. Confusing situations or ones that threaten our comfort zones we label as "bad," or at least "negative," which more or less amounts to the same thing.

 

December 8 , 2008

Lightening the Load

What "baggage" are you carrying?

As we more fully engage in our Quests, we discover that certain mindsets and character deficiencies leave us too weak or incapacitated for the journey. It's as if while climbing a mountain, we suddenly discover that someone has placed 40 pounds of rocks in our backpack. The more quickly we discard the unnecessary weight, the easier the journey becomes.

December 1 , 2008

Decision-Making: Right Mind, Right Questions, Right People
By Monte Wilson

Part 3: Right People

People from different (macro and micro) cultures, because we all too often confuse ethics (what is right and wrong) with cultural preferences, and because such people have an entirely different take on life, love, work, success and happiness than we do.

November 24 , 2008

God in You!

Let's look at a few of these affirmations from the prior article, "You and God."

The God who created the universe dwells within you. Think about this, see it in your mind's eye, feel it resonate within your heart. The God who created stars, orchids and dolphins is residing in you as you read these words. Is it possible that this may have some implications for your own capacity for creativity?

November 17 , 2008

Decision-Making: Right Mind, Right Questions, Right People
By Monte Wilson

Part 2: Right Questions

“What will so-and-so think/feel/do if I decide for x” is usually not a primary concern, as it places far too much emphasis on the opinions, beliefs, values, and feelings of people who do not live in your skin, have beliefs and values that conflict with yours or that will change this time next year. Good thing to remember here: honoring others doesn’t require that you submit to them.

November 10 , 2008

You and God

One of the most grand and mysterious assertions in all of scripture is that God dwells within us. Examples: "Christ in me, the hope of glory"(Colossians 1:27). "He (God) that is within you is greater than he (Satan) who is in the world" (I John 4:4).

November 3 , 2008

Decision-Making: Right Mind, Right Questions, Right People
By Monte Wilson

Part 1: Right Mind

It always baffles me when people make major decisions for their lives while being depressed. Uh, what sort of goals will be set or decisions made in such a state of mind? “I hate myself, my life (sobbing, in fetal position) … I am going to die here if I do not do something else, anything else (retching) … o well, (fondling razor blade) … I will go do this.”

October 27 , 2008


Reflections on Generosity
By Jim Rohn

It's best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It's easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it's a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million.

October 20 , 2008

Decision Making for Optimists and Pessimists

Some people see the glass half empty, and others see it half full and proceed accordingly.  Interestingly enough, these people are usually married or in business together.

I am not altogether comfortable with using the words optimist and pessimist. Optimists see themselves as people who operate by faith and hope: pessimists see themselves, not as pessimists, but as realists. To the pessimist the optimist is a Pollyanna: in the eyes of the optimist, the pessimist is a cynic. I think both are often not far from the mark. Anyway, when I use the words optimist and pessimist it usually conjures up pejorative images of dreamers and cynics.

October 13 , 2008

Share Your Gift

"Life's secret to truly rich living (emotional, spiritual, physical and financial) is to use your God-given gift to help another one of God's creatures."

Many gifts, usually called "talents" are obvious. This would include natural talents in the arts and sciences, the helping professions, business, arts and crafts, parenting, sports and so on. The real question is not what your gift is, but are you using it to enhance or advance God's creation - primarily other people?

October 06 , 2008

Responsibility
By Monte E. Wilson

Responsibility - Able-to-respond

He/she/they/it made me feel sad, angry, guilty, happy, hopeful, at peace.

Actually, I chose to feel this way. If I had no say-so in the matter, than I carry no responsibility, eh? I was simply a victim of my emotions. Riiiiight. No, based on my beliefs, thought-processes and even behavioral preferences, I made a choice to feel as I do. It may have been decided in a millisecond but I did decide. It may be an indirect choice that came as a result of my beliefs, but that too is a choice. The only question is this—was it a wise or a not so wise choice, a healthy or not so healthy choice? And believe me, sometimes sadness, anger or guilt can be the appropriate choice, as is the one where we choose to not remain in any of these three states longer than is necessary.

September 29, 2008

Finding Ourselves

Who Does God Want You to Be?

Who does God want you to be? Who do you want to be? Wouldn't it be nice if both answers were the same?

Most of us have no idea how to answer either question . Thinking about the sort of life produced by not knowing can be disheartening. This existence is lacking in purpose, direction, passion, and power (efficacy)-a life by default. Confusion, bitterness, regret, frustration and alienation are the hallmarks of this remarkably "lifeless style."

September 22, 2008

Talking Heads
By Monte Wilson

Parrot: “Ack … Thus Saith Me.
Polly Wants Applause!”

Read the script, cite chapter and verse, be right, make him/her wrong, holding to the Company Line— Denominational, Theological System, Company Standards—challenging all deviations. Of course, your opposing Talking Heads have different chapters, different verses, different scripts, different metaphors, claiming the authority of differing authorities.

Talking Heads Talking at Talking Heads: all of them forgetting the heart, the soul.

September 15, 2008

Finding Ourselves

Creating an Inspiring Vision of Your Life

What is your "vision" for your life? (Your long-term plan, your "ideal" for how your life will turn out, or the legacy you'll leave behind). Most of us don't have a clue beyond "getting married" or "having kids" or getting "divorced" or maybe having a successful career. Each of these is a goal , but not much of a vision .

 

September 8 , 2008

Popeye-ism
by Monte Wilson

“I ams what I ams.” Popeye

A 300 lb man who has been seeking to fill the hole in his soul with food has a heart attack, reevaluates his life, finds God, and drops 80 lbs

A self-centered woman that only lives for herself with never a caring thought for anyone else wakes up with a panic attack, realizing she is alone in this world. She asks forgiveness, reaches out to others, and now lives in a world filled with loved ones with whom she finds great joy and meaningfulness.

September 1 , 2008

Finding Ourselves

What Is My Gift?

The truth is that your life is a gift from God. The Bible categorically states you are "wonderfully made"-in other words, awesome! In fact, you are "a gift from God" to others , even though you may not feel that way today.

 

August 25 , 2008

New ... Or Knew?
By Monte Wilson

One day, David, the future King of Israel, heads over to take his brothers some food. As the boys are presently engaged as Israeli soldiers fighting the dread Philistines, David not only will get to serve his brothers, but, more importantly for our young hero, he will be able to witness the fighting first hand.

 

August 18 , 2008

Part 3: Goal Setting
How Do You Get There?

Goal setting workshops are as numerous as the stars in the sky. Go to any book store and look at all the books that teach people exactly how to get where they wish to go, how to attain their desired outcome. Now, think of all the people that you know who have attended the workshops or read the books yet rarely attain their desired outcomes. What is going on here?

What is going on is the age-old tension between knowledge and action. For some reason, we humans are constantly tempted to believe that merely because we have mapped out where we want to go or what we should do that we actually are following the map

August 11 , 2008

The Cost of Your Dreams
Monte Wilson

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

In this life, suffering and sacrifices come to us no matter what: we might as well go through hardships that are preparing us for the realization of our dreams, rather than suffering hardships for … nothing.

Monte E. Wilson

August 4 , 2008

Wealth Creation, Part 2: Principles of Wealth

What Does the Bible Say About Generating Wealth?

It is all really quite simple. According to the scriptures, wealth is generated through labor, skill/wisdom, sacrifice, generosity and faith. (Proverbs 3:15; 6:6-11; 8:21; 11:25; Deuteronomy 8; Joshua 1: 8)

While inheritance is a legitimate means of securing wealth, the normal avenue is hard work. Like the commandment says, "Six days, shall you labor…" And, if you wish to accumulate wealth, the labor cannot be hit and miss: you must be consistently diligent. (Proverbs 10:4)

July 28, 2008

Making Choices: The Wisdom of Doc and Nathan
By Monte Wilson

Let's go to the movies ...

Doc Holliday: What did you want?

Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life.

Doc Holliday: There's no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life.

Tombstone
Kurt Russell, as Wyatt Earp, Val Kilmer, as Doc Holliday

July 21, 2008

More Foundations: Wealth Creation, Part 1 Understanding Money
The Sixth Sense:

Money is a powerful tool. With it we can do good to others, provide for our families, bless our friends and purchase experiences that enrich our lives. Without it there is hunger, conflict, stress and all sorts of trouble.

 

July 14, 2008

Vroom, Vroom!
By Monte Wilson

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the heart's of men.

Goethe

There is nothing like a dream to create the future.

Victor Hugo

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdepedence produces the highest form of living.

Anais Nin

July 7, 2008

Love Can Be A Pain!

What can I possibly learn from it?
By Dan Tocchini

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

The word "truth" means reality. Thayer's Greek Dictionary says: "Truth is reality. The underlying essence of a matter that is the basis of and agrees with the appearance."

June 30, 2008

Mental Health
By Monte Wilson

Monte: You evidently have studied psychology. What is your psychological-model: Psychoanalytic? Behaviorism? Freudianism (LOL)? Cognitive psychology? Biological? Existential? Sociocultural? Postmodern? What?

Actually, there is no such thing as a postmodern psychological model, as these people think all such models were created by The Man as a power trip. Plus, when all truth is personal truth it is somewhat difficult to make value judgments regarding certain behaviors and such, isn’t it? Anyway—

June 23, 2008

Creating Your Character is Like an Artist Creating a Sculpture
by Jim Rohn

(Excerpted from the Cultivating an Unshakable Character series) By Jim Rohn

Could creating your character be likened to an artist creating a sculpture? In my opinion, I believe that character is not something that just happens by itself, any more than a chisel can create a work of art without the hand of an artist guiding it. In both instances, a conscious decision for a specific outcome has been made. A conscious process is at work.

 

June 16, 2008

To Have a Better Week: Ask Better Questions.
God Nuggets, Issue 5

To lift yourself out of the doldrums or to break the cycle of useless negative questions (why is my life/job so boring, why am I not making more money, why aren't my relationships better, why am I so unhappy - so overweight etc.) shift your attention to what's great in your life.

June 9, 2008

Think Before Speaking
by CV Doner, PhD

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1-2)

Clearly one of God's ground rules is the same thing every good parent teaches their kids: "watch your mouth." Unfortunately, our kids are watching our example rather than listening to our words.

June 2, 2008

Your Weaknesses are Part of Your Strengths
by Monte Wilson

I see it all the time. People go to war against what they perceive as weaknesses in their personality, only to discover that they have shot and mortally wounded their strengths. Rather than merely tempering their weaknesses or guarding against some of the more potentially dangerous consequences of these weaknesses, they wish to root out the buggers tooth and nail. They then wake up surprised that they have lost their edge.

The sensitive poet seeks to steel his emotions only to discover that he can no longer see, hear, and feel the words that use to flow out of his soul.

May 26 , 2008

Discipline
by CV Doner, PhD

"Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die."

(Proverbs 15:10)

Breaking the ground rules of life has consequences-frustration, failure, rejection, confusion, illness, depression, poverty, and death--to name a few. The good news is that we can actually benefit from our mistakes, if we will learn from them and try not to repeat them (this is the meaning of repentance).

May 19 , 2008

The Nature of Love:  Loving Others as You Love Yourself
By Dr. Monte Wilson

The biblical injunction to love others as we love ourselves has always intrigued me. If for no other reason than that it smacks down the pietistic foolishness that true spirituality has within it a great degree of self-hatred. Come to think of it, this probably explains why so many of these people hate everyone who is different from them, who disagrees with them, and who refuses to submit to their anti-godly standards of (so-called) holiness. “Thou shalt hate others as you hate yourself.”

May 12 , 2008

Three Rules of Effective Communication
By C. V. Doner

Ever wish your mate, friends, or co-workers would take a class in communication?

Don't you think a course in communication should be mandatory in public school? But of course, it's not. It's assumed we all know how to communicate. This clearly false assumption (remember some of your teachers?) is largely responsible for most playground fistfights and world wars, divorces and bankruptcies, and frustrated relationships--at home and on the job.

May 05 , 2008

Courage
by Monte Wilson

It often takes courage to say no to an unethical but very profitable opportunity.  It takes courage to tell your boss what he or she will not enjoy hearing.  It takes courage to take off on a direction that you have faith will lead to success while everyone around you is counseling you to take another route.  It takes courage to invest your resources – time, money and energy – in a vision that may not be realized for years to come.  It takes courage to initiate, to act decisively when everyone else around you is hanging back.

April 28, 2008

You Deserve A Break!
by CV Doner, PhD

Most of us work too hard. Some of us work two or three jobs. Many of us work sixty-hour plus weeks. The bad thing is that we work these weeks end to end without some much as a real rest. Result? At best, we go stale, at worst we simply burn out. Not only in our job and career, but also with family and friends. We may endanger our health, both mental and physical, in the process.

April 21, 2008

Jihadists
by Monte Wilson

I have been reading about Muslim Jihadists.

For them: God is Absolute Will, and his will is not to be questioned or argued with (as Abraham did), even when, to us, it appears irrational. Here, for these particular Muslims, God’s will does not flow from a holy love (which presupposes a relationship, which, in turn, presupposes conversation), but is more akin to Nietzsche’s Will to Power

April 14, 2008

Your Genius
by CV Doner, PhD

What do the following five people have in common?

A single mom is raising three children and working 40 hours each week. At least once a week she takes the kids to the park, McDonald'sTM and church and is taking piano lessons. She does all of this without the help of her ex-husband.

April 7, 2008

Adding Value For The Joy Of It
By Kathleen Roberts

"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." Elizabeth Bibesco

In the world of personal and business coaching, we frequently refer to the concept of "attraction" or being "attractive". This, of course, does not have anything to do with physical appearance, but rather indicates a way to live your life so that the things you want come to you - like bees to honey. Over time, many principles of attitude and behavior have been developed to assist us in becoming more "attractive." Adding Value For The Joy Of It is just one of these principles.

March 31 2008

Curators, Counselors, and Chaos
by Monte Wilson

One of the titles and responsibilities a minister often holds is that of curator: Someone who cares for souls, facilitates the healing of souls. In a previous life, I was a minister who took this responsibility quite seriously. Whether it was the damage done by family dysfunction, or a traumatic experience such as the loss of a long cherished friend, or simply the dust from the surrounding culture crusting around a soul until it is as hard as concrete, people’s souls need tending to.

March 24, 2008

Creating A Better Leader

A leader is an "individual with a mission."

The mission could be building a bigger business or a better product; making a kinder world (or finding a new one); defeating a threatening enemy (war, disease, famine, ignorance); helping the poor, sick, handicapped or orphaned; (providing justice to the oppressed); or stewarding God's good creation (by caring for a part of the cosmos – art, science, church, family, business, government, the environment, etc.). But having a mission is not what makes a leader effective; the following 11 criteria also must be present.

March 17, 2008

Daily Decalogue of Pope John XXIII

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

March 10, 2008

How To Raise Great Kids

Number One - Love and value yourself

If you don't cherish yourself, you may end up treating your child with the same lack of respect or confidence you feel towards yourself. Remember, you are their primary role model. Your attitude will mold their own —they may well accept your dysfunctions as normative.

March 3, 2008

Fourteen Things To Do After You Die
by Monte Wilson

From the time you entered this world to the time you leave it, there will be multiple births and deaths: The birth and death of relationships, dreams and visions, careers and so forth. Sometimes, however, our deaths can bring with them what is called the Dark Night of the Soul: a season where the sun of our universe is eclipsed, our life-force is drained away, leaving us standing utterly defenseless before forces we cannot control.

February 25, 2008

Read All The Books
By Jim Rohn

All of the books that we will ever need to make us as rich, as healthy, as happy, as powerful, as sophisticated and as successful as we want to be have already been written.

 

February 11, 2008

Beauty
by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III

About five years ago I saw a mockingbird make a straight vertical descent from the roof gutter of a four-story building. It was an act as careless and spontaneous as the curl of a stem or the kindling of a star.

February 4, 2008

Wine, Women and Song
by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III

Stereotypes are like vampires. You can't kill them unless you drive a stake through the heart. Take for example, the Puritans. These people always wore black, were dour sourpusses and defined "sin" as anything that made the individual happy. Correct? Not at all. Read their journals. These people wore bright clothing, enjoyed life and loved their port. What surprises me, is not that unbelievers have this misconception of the Puritans, but that so many people today have adopted this false notion and made it their standard of morality.

January 28, 2008

Lessons in Humility
by Leonard Sweet, PhD

I used to be a learned professor. Now I'm a learner. When I was learned, life was a quiz show. Now that I'm a learner, life is a discovery channel.

When I was learned, it was a question of how much I knew. Now that I'm a learner, it's a question of how much I'm being stretched.

When I was learned, knowledge was everything. Now that I'm a learner, kindness is everything.

January 21, 2008

New Year's Resolutions
by Monte Wilson

Be at ease in the silence
Embrace the dark night
Acquire strength in solitude
Be as fearless as a corpse
Keep moving
Seek depth of soul over health and happiness
Stop explaining
Choose simplicity
Love -- with discernment and knowledge
Rediscover individuality
Be impeccable
Accept my weirdness and eccentricities

January 21, 2008

New Year's Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
--St. Francis of Assisi

January 14, 2008

Creating Opportunity
By Jim Rohn

An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.

 

January 7, 2008

Giving Comfort
By Monte Wilson

The capacity to give one's attention to a sufferer
is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle.  --Simone Weil

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